Entranced
by colour me impressed
Summary: A meteor freak's hypnosis ability turns a little innocent fun into a whole lot of trouble — for Lois and Clark, at least.
1. Chapter One

**Chapter 1**

Clark smiled at Lois and Chloe, giving them both a thumbs up as they climbed the two steps to reach the stage. The cousins smiled back at the Kryptonian (though only one cousin knew this particular fact). Lois', however, was more mockingly cheerful than sincere, opposed to Chloe's simply jolly grin. The Lane-Sullivan duo sat on the stools provided for them, and Lois' expression finally melted into one of genuine annoyance, complete with a roll of her hazel eyes. If Clark hadn't been her best friend and Chloe hadn't been her favourite cousin, she would have flipped the bird at them both and left the scene when they had volunteered herself and Chloe to be a hypnotist's lab rats. Hell, if it weren't for Clark, Chloe and their stupid puppy-dog eyes and whines, she wouldn't even be at this stupid Smallville County Fair!

"No offense, but I don't believe in this hypno-babble stuff. I think you should choose someone else. You know, someone who's gullible enough to actually fall for this kind of thing," she said to the approaching hypnotist, her arms crossed and hoping he'd just punt her off the stage, if only to stop the river of complaints frothing from her mouth. She gave a non-apologetic and pointed glance at Chloe as she spoke, but the small blonde only grinned impossibly wider and shrugged. "Personally, I think _he_ should be up here – not me." Her gaze turned venomous as she turned her head to look at her blue-eyed partner. Mimicking Chloe, he just grinned and shrugged. What peeved her even further was that he looked adorable when he did that.

The hypnotist only smiled kindly at her, a hint of amusement in his eyes, seemingly unperturbed by her words. "You and your friend will do just fine," he reassured her, though Lois didn't need reassuring. No, what she needed right now was to punch a hole through Clark's perfectly lined teeth; he was smiling too much. "Just sit back and relax," he told them.

"If I sit back, I'll fall off this stupid chair," Lois grumbled, loud enough for only the hypnotist's and Chloe's (and, not known to her, Clark's) ears to hear. All three chuckled at Lois' comment, though Clark's mirth was disguised.

"What are your names?"

"I'm Chloe."

"Lois Lane."

Nodding, he turned around to face the audience of twenty or so people that had gathered under his tent. "Now," the hypnotist began. "What would you like to see these lovely, young women do?"

The small crowd shouted many suggestions at the amiable hypnotist. Some were suggestions that were commonly associated with hypnotists – "Make them act like chickens!" someone yelled – while others were suggestions so obscene, Chloe's jaw dropped, both offended and shocked, and Lois had to grip the seat of her stool so as not to jump off the stage and punch _them_ in the faces; Clark had to close his eyes and perform deep breathing exercises, partly to stop himself from throwing the offenders out of the tent and partly to keep his eyes from burning down the tent when he thought of Lois doing..

'_Just breathe, Clark. Just breathe.'_

The hypnotist's stern voice cut through his mantra and grabbed him from his thoughts. "Keep it clean, fellas."

"Yeah," Lois piped in, her voice sickeningly saccharine. "Or you fellas won't be fellas for much longer."

Lois' threat successfully kicked everyone's minds out of the gutter, had they been in there or not.

There were a few seconds of silence before a voice hesitantly threw another suggestion the hypnotist's way. "Uh, make them act like kids."

No other suggestions were made, so the hypnotist nodded. "Kids, it is." Turning around and shifting until he was in front of both Lois and Chloe, his gaze slowly moved from one lady to the other. "Look at me," he ordered.

"What, no clock and chain?" joked Chloe. Halfway through her question, her words quieted and her eyelids fell to half-mast. Lois' eyelids fell as well.

Discreetly, the hypnotist hid his hand by his abdomen and waved his fingers, the brown of his eyes lightening significantly. "When I snap my fingers, you'll have the mindset of infants. When I say 'reverto', you'll return to normal. Nod if you understand."

They nodded.

The hypnotist waved his fingers inconspicuously once more, his eyes darkening to their normal shade. Immediately, Chloe's and Lois' eyes opened fully, just as the hypnotist snapped his fingers. Right off the bat, Chloe began bawling. Clark's eyes widened in shock as tears began streaming down the Sullivan's face. His attention was ripped away from the crying woman, however, when he heard a heavy thud. His gaze lowered and his blues found Lois on the floor of the stage, a look of surprise painting her features. As soon as he saw the minute trembling of her bottom lip, he jerked towards her – she was hurt, and she was about to cry.

Chloe would be angry and maybe embarrassed once she found out she had cried in front of a group of entertained strangers. But Lois? Lois would _skin him alive_ if she found out she had cried in front of a group of entertained strangers because he had offered her as a volunteer.

He had to stop her from crying, or she would stop him from breathing, regardless of his Kryptonian heritage.

(And he didn't like it when she cried.)

Clark pushed himself to the front of the group just as the hypnotist spoke; "reverto." Chloe and Lois jerked, having snapped from their trance – Clark realised this a second too late, unfortunately.

"Boo!"

His cheeks burned as he realised what he had just unnecessarily done. But, when he heard Lois' laughter mingling with the rest of the crowd's, he found it didn't matter. As long as she was smiling and not planning his murder, he could handle the laughter and his embarrassment.

"Are you willing to sit through another one?" the hypnotist asked the two cousins, once Lois had seated herself once more and the crowd had quietened.

"If Smallville gets to embarrass himself again, I am all in." Lois smirked at Clark.

With her grin still plastered to her face, Chloe agreed. "I think I'm with Lois on this one."

"Okay," the hypnotist said. "Do you mind if I go with 'hypnotist's choice' here? Or, would you rather have the audience choose your fate?"

"You're kidding us, right?" Chloe asked in mild disbelief, her chilly, green gaze singling out one of the few men who had shouted out the inappropriate suggestions.

"We choose you and your scrubbed-clean mind," Lois said with a firm nod, glaring at the man Chloe had singled out. The man shrunk away from their gazes.

The hypnotist chuckled, but he quickly wiped his face of all feelings aside from seriousness. "Look at me," he told them, and the process was repeated. He waved his fingers and his eyes lightened, unbeknownst to everyone else in the tent.

Clark fixed his gaze on the family duo on the stage. Although he wanted to quite badly, he refrained from using his superhearing – he wanted to be surprised.

The hypnotist raised the volume of his voice, enabling everyone in the tent to finally hear what he was saying. "When I say 'reverto', you will both return to normal. Nod if you understand me."

When they both nodded, the hypnotist waved his fingers around and snapped them. Lois and Chloe jerked out of their trance, acting no different, much to the disappointment of the audience. The hypnotist stood back and waited, a small smirk playing with his features.

"This one's a bust!" someone exclaimed before he and his group of friends filed out of the tent. Others soon followed, ready to experience the fair's other entertainment components.

"Lost your magic touch there?" Lois asked with a raised brow, crossing her arms again.

The hypnotist shrugged, but otherwise remained silent, amusement still dancing across his face.

Clark, having not lost any faith just yet, waited for something to happen. Besides, even if he did believe this part of the hypnotist's show was a failure, he couldn't just leave Lois and Chloe behind! Suddenly, his phone vibrated against his leg. Fishing it out of his pocket, he looked at the text message sent to him.

_From: Oliver Queen_

_We need Chloe, Boy Scout. Droppin' by the farm to pick her up in ten minutes._

Knowing that Justice League business was much more important than standing around and waiting for magic to happen, Clark called out to the girls. "Lois, Chloe, we have to go now."

The hypnotist looked startled, and opened his mouth to interject, but Clark didn't allow him to, pointing his next words at Chloe. As soon as he got her leaving, Lois was sure to follow. "Oliver just texted. He needs you for something having to do with Queen Industries."

"JLA business?" Chloe asked casually.

Silence ensued. Clark stared at her in shock. Chloe, finally realising what she had just revealed, looked equally as shocked. "I didn't mean to say that," she explained in a rush.

"'JLA business'?" Lois parroted. Her curiosity was piqued.

"It's nothing!" Chloe exclaimed hurriedly. "Come on, let's go."

Grabbing Lois' arm, she pulled her off the stage and out of the tent, adeptly deflecting her cousin's questions. Clark looked at the hypnotist, who looked panicked. Assuming it was because his audience was running out on him, Clark smiled apologetically. "Sorry. Your show was nice." And with that, Clark caught up to his friends, steering him in the direction of his truck.

Now alone in his tent, the hypnotist stared at the flapping entrance curtain of his tent, his face a bit pale. "Oh, crap."


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter 2**

Clark watched as Oliver drove Chloe away in his Aston Martin. He envied them. Clark would much rather deal with gun-toting men and Kryptonite-harbouring plants than a Lois who would tear him into tiny pieces for the truth. Why had Chloe mentioned the League – and then _left him_? Clark wished he still had his mind-reading ability because he really wanted to know what Chloe had been thinking at that particular moment. Sucking in a deep breath, Clark walked in through the front door like a man walking into a lion's mouth, bracing himself for the barrage of questions that were sure to leave his loud-mouthed partner's mouth. When nothing came, he was surprised. She wasn't even in the room!

"Lois?"

"Upstairs!" he heard her call, though he also heard a muffled, "Damn it!"

Worry zinged through his body and caused tension in his muscles. Without using his abilities, Clark climbed the stairs as fast as he could, skipping steps as he went. "Lois, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Smallville!" she yelled, her voice coming from his room. No longer worried, but definitely confused, he approached the closed door that led to his room.

"Lois, what are you doing in my room?" asked the Kent as he reached for the doorknob.

"I'm changing." His hand stilled and fell to his side, though he was tempted to bust the door open when he heard her yell. "Crap!"

Her responses were only puzzling Clark even further (and filling him with urges to break down doors). Why was she changing in his room when there was a bathroom readily available only a few strides away? And what was she changing _into_? Last he checked, Lois hadn't stored any clothes in his house – much less in his room! Plus, why was she cursing every second sentence? Hoping to receive answers from the enigma herself, he leaned on his door and waited a few moments to let her finish changing. He knocked.

"Are you done?"

"Yes."

"Can I come in?"

"No! No, you can_not_ come in! I'd prefer it if you never came into your room ever again! Wait, that's a lie."

He heard her groan, and the worry reinstated itself while fear tagged along. "Lois, you're scaring me. I'm coming in."

"No! Clark, please don't—!"

But Clark didn't listen to her pleas. He was freaked out by her behaviour; something was very, very wrong. He turned the doorknob and swung his door open, expecting the worst.

The sight he saw was the farthest thing from what he had braced himself to see. In fact, it was a sight he never expected he would see again.

There was Lois, standing in the middle of his room. He had expected that, actually. But, there was Lois, standing in the middle of his room, wearing nothing but his Smallville Crows football jersey. (And probably her underwear, but he wasn't going to check, even if he did want to.)

He had not expected that.

Starting at her bare feet, Clark's eyes ran up her equally undressed legs, over her covered torso and along her flushed face before they finally stopped at her eyes. Only after his slow once-over was finished did he find his voice.

"Uh.. L-Lois?" he choked out, his voice cracking.

The Lane in question would have found his broken voice hilarious, if the embarrassment in the room hadn't been a two-way street kind of thing. "I told you not to come in." She didn't realise her voice was unreasonably high-pitched and Clark didn't seem to notice either.

"I thought you were..," Clark allowed his voice to trail off to concentrate on keeping his eyes above her neck; it seemed his eyes believed one once-over wasn't enough. "I thought you were hurt. You kept, ah, swearing."

While Clark was struggling to keep his eyes away from the places he shouldn't stare, Lois found her outside voice and began utilising it. She needed him _out_. "Well, I'm obviously not hurt! So, you can get out now!"

Her yelling chased away his awkwardness, and the volume of the Kryptonian's voice escalated as well. "It's my room! You can't kick me out of my room!"

"Watch me!" she growled back, stomping forward to shove him forcefully through the doorway.

However, her intentions changed when her hands came into contact with his chest. She still shoved him through the doorway, until his back slammed against the wall opposite his room, but she didn't move away as she had originally intended. Instead, she slid her hands under Clark's gray shirt, running her them up his hardened abdomen to his chest. She bit her lip at the feel of his skin beneath her fingertips.

Clark had lost all control of his muscles by the time Lois had wormed her hands under his shirt; so far, he still couldn't move.

Lois' hands lingered underneath Clark's shirt, drawing out the exploration for a little while longer, then slid out. Before the Kent could get a complaint in edgewise, her hands were on his shoulders, pulling him down to her level while simultaneously bringing their bodies closer together. Her lips brushed against the shell of his ear, her tongue darting out to drag the lobe into her mouth. Clark groaned gutturally in response.

That sound broke through her trance.

As if she'd been touching molten lava, Lois leapt away from him, forcing her hands to stay at her sides. Her eyes were 'deer-caught-in-headlights' wide. She had just ravished Clark Kent.

"Oh, god. Clark, I—Sorry. I'm sorry."

Then, she retreated into his room, slamming his door shut.

And Clark just stared at his door, shirt askew and too stunned to do anything else.


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter 3**

Clark didn't know how much time had passed, but, eventually, he was allowed access to the control room of his body once more. The first thing he did was grab a drink. As much as he wanted to barge into his room and receive the answers to his questions, which were multiplying like rabbits, he needed something to calm his nerves.

Pulling the refrigerator door open, Clark bent over and let the machine's chilled air cool the flesh he believed was a little too hot for comfort. His thoughts strayed back to Lois and the things she had done – wearing just his jersey! – and more blood rushing to his cheeks was an automatic response – among other reactions, unfortunately. With a groan, Clark poured himself a glass of lemonade and jerked his thoughts forcefully away from Lois. If he let his thoughts remain on the Lane, Clark would need to do more than guzzle lemonade to calm himself down.

The cruellest part of his situation was that cold showers didn't work on him.

As he downed the rest of his drink, the Kryptonian man noticed something atop the counter. Focussing his eyesight, he read the box's label: Belgian Seashell Chocolates. Clark looked at it thoughtfully, then picked it up as he headed for the staircase – he would need it as a bargaining chip.

Clark was on the fifth-to-last step when he noticed his door was open. His pace quickened, hoping to squeeze his way into the room (or at least stick his foot in front of the doorjamb so Lois couldn't close the door), but he hadn't even reached the second floor before it closed quickly, but quietly.

Slightly disheartened, he slowed back to his regular pace – Lois still wasn't ready to speak with him yet. He reached his door and raised his fist to knock when the door was pulled back. His fist still hanging in the air, he looked down to see Lois, still clad in nothing but his jersey and a surprised expression; she obviously hadn't expected him to be standing there, despite the fact that he lived here.

"Clark!" she said, her voice sounding just as surprised as her face looked.

He thrust the box he held into the space between them. Lois flinched back, as if he were holding a dead rat instead of her favourite food. Clark ignored it. "I brought chocolate."

The brunette looked down at the box, then back up to his face. "You did," she affirmed.

"I did."

Awkward silence reigned and the duo fidgeted uncomfortably, Clark's arm still outstretched between them. Unable to stand the silence, Clark opened his mouth to ask if he could come in, but, as usual, Lois beat him to the punch.

"You want to come in? Wait, of course you do. You wouldn't be standing out here if you wanted to say 'hello'. I mean, would you? Well, if that's the case, then hell—"

"Lois," Clark interrupted, reaching out to lay a hand on her shoulder; Lois exhaled sharply. "I'd love to come in," he finished with a smile.

Unable to help herself, Lois stared openly at his lips. She felt herself lean up and forwards to catch them with her own – _'They looked lonely,'_ was her reason – but Clark, ever oblivious, brushed past her to get into the room. She stumbled forward a step; thanks to her hand, which had never let go of the doorknob, she managed to steady herself before she ended up kissing the floor.

"Typical Smallville," she grumbled under her breath, though no real anger laced her tone. She was glad to have skipped out on more embarrassment. Personally, falling off a stool in front of a bunch of strangers and having a hot and heavy make-out session with Clark's ear when he obviously didn't want it was enough embarrassment for her on one day.

She closed the door three-quarters of the way – allowing her an escape route that didn't involve turning doorknobs or jumping out windows – then faced the owner of the bedroom, who was perched on the edge of his bed with his box of chocolates beside him.

Slowly, Lois crossed the floor and sat down on the other side of the box. She needed to keep her distance. It kept temptation at an arm's length, and she needed that arm's length like a lifeline.

"We need to talk," Clark announced once he saw Lois get comfortable.

"Yeah, we do."

Clark sat quietly, trying to think of a way to tactfully bring up the events that occurred in the corridor. It was after struggling with the task that he decided on one thing: screw tact. Tact was for politicians and therapists, both of which he was neither. "You groped me in the hallway," he blurted out, his blue eyes staring intently at Lois' reddening face. He believed she looked positively adorable, but he kept the comment to himself.

"Yeah, about that," she started, her hazel eyes darting everywhere but him. Eventually, they stopped evading his intense gaze and met them. "All right, I know this sounds crazy, but there's something wrong with me."

With a cheekily wry smile, Clark said, "That doesn't sound crazy at all."

Lois glared at him. "Shove a dick in it, Smallville. This is important."

Clark raised a brow at her choice of wording, but she only rolled her eyes and waved her hand in dismissal. He did as she asked and ignored it, sobering and jerking his head towards her as a gesture for her to continue.

"Okay, brace yourself – I have no self-control."

A moment of silence swept over them, and Lois looked anxiously at the raven-haired man, expecting a patented Clark Kent freak-out. However, all she received was a dubious look.

"That's your explanation? 'I have no self-control'? Lois, I think that's the lamest excuse in the book." He'd know, what with his affinity for using horrible excuses himself.

"No! I'm serious!" Lois said, hopping onto her feet and planting herself in front of doubting journalist. "Whatever pops into my head, I just do it!"

Clark's eyebrow rose again as he tipped his head back to view her face. "You already do that," he stated calmly.

"That's not what I—" Lois groaned and slapped her hand to her forehead. "That's not what I meant. It's like the censorship program in my head has gone AWOL."

His brow furrowed in confusion, wondering why Lois seemed to think she had a program that censored things in her head. "I don't get it."

"Of course, you don't," Lois growled. She ran her hand through her dark hair in frustration as she attempted to figure out how to explain her.. ailment in the simplest way possible. "Anything I want to say or do, I just do it. There's no stopping to think if it's the right or wrong thing to do – I just.. carry it out." She paused, thinking of an example that was both outrageous and something Clark knew she wouldn't do just because. "If I wanted to strip in front of you, I'd do it without questioning it."

In true Lois fashion, Lois didn't think of the repercussions when she spoke. Her suggestion was perfect; it would convey the pure seriousness of her current predicament to Clark. But, her suggestion was also made of backfire material – and backfire it did.

The idea lingered in her mind a millisecond too long. Almost immediately, she was thinking about how Clark would react if she _did_ undress in front of him; he would probably put on the shy farm boy act. Curiosity made its presence known and, soon enough, she wanted to follow through with her idea and test her theory. Her want was made clear and common sense was promptly thrown out the proverbial window.

Lois grasped the hem of Clark's jersey.


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter 4**

Clark had been pondering the truthfulness of Lois' words when, all of a sudden, his jersey wasn't covering any bodies anymore. The Kryptonian stared wide-eyed at the clothing that was now uselessly covering the floor. He may have been doubtful about Lois' story before, but he was definitely a believer now!

A believer who was afraid to look up.

He wasn't afraid of what he would _see_, per se – he was just afraid of what Lois would do if she ever found out he'd glimpsed her.. assets. She would hold a grudge against him for sure, and everyone knew Lois Lane held grudges like a drowning man would hold onto a lifebuoy.

So, Clark didn't look. He bowed his head and stared unseeingly at his floor, adamantly refusing to look up even an inch. Looking up and admiring her may be worth castration, but it wasn't worth the loss of her trust once she found out he had taken advantage of her.

(Clark sighed inwardly – he really was a boy scout at heart. Men of the heterosexual variety would kill to be in the position he was in right now, as Lois was a very attractive woman.)

Then, he remembered his voice had snapped her out of her odd state last time. Without moving his head, he spoke gently. "Lois? You're naked."

The laugh he received in response told him that, clearly, just his voice wasn't going to help him in this situation. He didn't understand that. It had worked well enough five minutes ago! Why not now? His inner, slightly panicked ramblings were cut off when Lois verbally replied to his comment. "Not yet, Clark. But, don't worry, I will be."

That sentence was a cause for alarm (and excitement, in regards to his stubborn body).

Clark heard her reach for the clasp of her bra and he scrambled to stop her. Jumping to his feet, he grabbed her wrists with a steel grip and trapped her arms at her sides. He tried taking the moral high road by averting his eyes, but it was like trying to keep the moth away from the flame: futile. The idiotic moth would always be drawn to the breathtaking flame.

He glanced down and almost swallowed his tongue. "Black lace," he breathed. It was like the "red dress" incident all over again. Clark brought his eyes up to hers. _'Her eyes are safe; keep your eyes on her eyes and you'll be fine,'_ he told himself internally over and over, in hopes he wouldn't be tempted to look down again. Lois' lips stretched into a Cheshire cat grin.

"You like?" she teased.

Clark grunted, his answer ambiguous; Lois took it as an affirmative. She leaned her torso forward a little, giving Clark a bird's eye view down her bra. He mentally repeated his mantra faster.

"They'd look even better on your floor," she whispered conspiratorially, sending a wink his way.

Once experiencing enough stress, even steel broke – and that comment pushed Clark to his breaking point. If he didn't snap her out of it now, he was going to snap her out of her bra! The Kryptonian slid his hands onto her upper arms; he needed a better grip if he was going to shake the sense back into her (or so he told himself). Clark shook her gently. "Lois! Snap out of it!"

Lois started suddenly and her eyes widened to the perfect 'deer-caught-in-headlights' width. "It happened again, didn't it?" she asked just as suddenly, although she already knew the answer.

He nodded, relief flowing through him. "I'm just glad you're back."

"That's awfully cheesy of you, Smallville," she said flippantly in reply, turning sharply and heading over to his closet. Clark tried not to stare at her backside as she walked.

Cutting everything below the back strap of her bra out of his line of sight, Clark sank onto his bed and crossed his arms as he watched her shift through his closet. "Says the reporter who told me her bra would look nicer on my floor," Clark retorted smugly. Lois froze. "If you ask me, that was an _awfully cheesy_ pick-up line."

A balled-up shirt smacked him in the face. Peeling it off, Clark looked at the teal fabric, his gaze then switching over to Lois questioningly. Wiping the pleased look from her face, Lois shrugged. "It was in my hand, I wanted to throw it, so I did," she explained. Clark opened his mouth to reply, but Lois interrupted him before he could get a word in. "Clark, with my condition, I can't be held responsible for anything I do." She smiled innocently at Clark before stepping towards him and reaching for her shirt.

Clark, however, kept her shirt out of her reach; it was his own little revenge. She tried again, but, like before, Clark pulled it away before she could snatch it from him. "Clark! Give it to me!" she yelled, frustrated at his antics.

"No. You threw it at me, so it's mine now," was the calm response she got in return.

Instead of blowing up at him as he'd expected, Lois smiled dangerously. Well, that wasn't good. "Oh, that's your reason? I thought it was because you were secretly ogling me while I stretched out in front of you. I forgot men were into those kinds of things." Clark blushed furiously because she was _right_. When she'd been focussing on getting her shirt from him, Clark's eyes would involuntarily slide to the uncovered parts (and sometimes covered parts, too) of her body.

"Wh-what?" he said unsteadily, feigning ignorance, though he was afraid he'd been caught red-handed.

However, Lois didn't know that her comment had been correct; she'd only said it to distract him. So, while Clark was looking (cutely) bewildered, she lunged for the teal shirt Clark held just behind him. She successfully snagged it, but she also managed to lose her balance.

Lois cried out as she toppled onto her unsuspecting partner. She pressed the hand that wasn't gripping her shirt against Clark's chest to steady herself, but Clark had been as surprised as her at her impromptu fall; his torso was pushed down onto the bed and Lois landed hard on his groin as she straddled him. Air whooshed out of his lungs in a grunt. It wasn't that it hurt. It hadn't hurt at all – it just felt a little too good. However, Lois believed his sharp exhale was a sound of pain and frankly, Clark wanted to keep it that way.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry, Clark." She looked sincere in her apology, rising onto her knees to ease the pressure she was undoubtedly putting on him.

"It's okay, Lois. I'll survive."

Lois nodded, adding, "Let's just take solace in the fact that things can't get any worse."

Lois obviously had forgotten about Finagle's corollary to Murphy's Law: anything that could go wrong, will—at the worst possible moment.

And that worst possible moment was right then.

"Holy freakin' crap!"

Slowly and at the same time, as if they'd rehearsed it, Clark lifted his head and Lois turned hers to look at the doorway, hoping that what they heard _hadn't_ been Chloe's voice. Oh, but it had been.

Under the doorjamb with mouths agape stood Chloe Sullivan and Oliver Queen, both of whom were receiving the shocks of their lives.


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter 5**

Lois broke the unbearable silence first. "Cous', this is not what it looks like."

Chloe shook out of her stupor, very sceptical towards Lois' words. "Oh, it isn't what it looks like!" she said with mock relief. She turned to Oliver, whose eyebrows were about to disappear into his hairline. "Ollie, did you hear? It isn't what it looks like!" She turned back to the duo on the bed, ignoring the fact her cousin was grossly underdressed. "So, you _aren't_ straddling Clark. On his bed. Half-_naked_. And Ollie and I are really just hallucinating. Is that what you're proposing, Lois? Is it?" Chloe's breathing was a little heavier after her rant was finished, but she did feel a little less horrified to have caught her cousin coming onto her best friend and a little bit better. Just a little bit, though.

"Okay, so it is what it looks like," Lois amended, her nose wrinkling.

She felt Oliver's hand rest on her shoulder in a calming gesture. It worked and she leaned into his touch, her shoulder brushing against his side. Now, she felt much better. "Lo, could you at least make yourself decent?"

Lois noticed her family member's almost imperceptible response to her ex-boyfriend's actions. However, she didn't feel like questioning it or pointing it out – at least, not until after she did what Chloe told her to do. With a grunt, she leaned to her left and grabbed the edge of the comforter at the head of the bed. She pulled it up and in front of her body, covering Clark as well. He wasn't underdressed like her, but if she dismounted him in front of Oliver and Chloe (jeez, she made him sound like a ride or something – _'oh, Lois derail that train of thought right now, before you do something stupid,'_ she thought to herself), what was left of her dignity was going to be flushed down the proverbial toilet. No, he was staying behind the blanket with her until two certain people had exited the room.

"I'm decent," Lois announced unnecessarily, sparing Clark a sideways glance. His hair was all messy and his blush had returned full-force. She almost couldn't blame Chloe for freaking out at them; it was easy to believe they'd been doing something very bad just by looking at Clark, especially since he looked like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Lois almost wished Lana had walked into the room instead.

As she looked at him, she suddenly found herself chuckling quietly at his expression. "Cute," she murmured. Lois had just brushed away an errant strand of hair from his forehead when she realised she was giving into impulses that should be secret – again. Clark just looked at her; it seemed he was already getting used to her impulses and all the attention and touches he was receiving from her.

Behind her, she heard Chloe gasp. Lois had forgotten that the room was occupied by four people, not two.

She turned her torso around, already beginning to explain her actions. "Don't freak out; it isn't PDA. Something happened to me and now I have—"

"No self-control," Oliver finished for her. "Great." His hands slapped against his jeans, the sound conveying his exasperation.

"How did you—?" Lois started, but she was interrupted again, this time by Chloe.

"Because mine's playing hooky, too."

Lois was definitely shocked to hear this. Clark shifted at the news, and Lois flicked him to get him to stop. He didn't stop, though. Instead, cradling the small of her back with a strong hand to keep her balanced, he pushed her onto his thighs and sat up. He probably wanted to make eye contact with Chloe and Oliver whenever they spoke as well, especially since their subject of discussion was a pressing matter.

Lois did note, however, that Clark didn't remove his right hand afterward, even when she was steady enough to sit fine on her own. She forced the smile that was edging its way onto her face away. Pretending she needed to ensure her balance, Lois placed her left hand on his right shoulder, even though she could care less about her steadiness. She was really more concerned about giving Clark the idea that she needed balance, just so he would keep his hand on her back. It felt nice and warm there.

When Clark placed his free hand on her thigh, falling for her ruse, Lois purred. Chloe and Oliver didn't hear it, thankfully. But, she did see the corner of Clark's lips twitch. She didn't need to know rocket science to understand that he had heard her. She squeezed his shoulder warningly, biting her lip immediately after at the feel of hard muscle underneath her hands. Believing that Clark was sufficiently warned, Lois returned her attention to the pair at the door. "So, that means—"

"Goodbye, inhibitions; hello, embarrassment? Yes," Chloe said. "I thought you have what I have."

"Well, maybe if you interruption-happy blondes actually _let_ me finish my sentences, I could have been able to add the word 'too' at the ends of them."

Said blondes smiled, though Chloe's took on a sheepish tint. "Sorry, Lo."

Clark readied himself to speak, but Lois beat him to it. "Apology accepted, Chlo. Now, scram. I want to be fully dressed when we talk about our lack of self-restraint."

Oliver was ready to pass a rebuttal, but Chloe grinned and cut the billionaire off. "Maybe you shouldn't get undressed in the first place." Lois scoffed loudly, though a smile was on her face. "Just a suggestion."

Clark and Oliver looked at each other and, at the same time, clapped a hand over their respective girl's mouth. "It's hard getting a word in edgewise with these two," Oliver muttered, giving Chloe a stern look. She gave him a look that just said, 'Oh, you know it'.

"At least Chloe stops talking every once in a while," Clark complained teasingly. "Lois just keeps going on and on, like every word's her last." Lois punched him lightly in the gut, and Clark recoiled to save her fist from getting hurt and grunted to keep appearances. "Well, see you downstairs, Oliver."

"Farewell, Clark." The two men gave each other over-exaggerated nods of goodbye. Then, after Oliver released Chloe's mouth, the blonde pair walked out of the room. "You should listen to me next time, Chloe," he said, his voice getting more and more distant as they walked down the stairs. "When you hear a girl yell, 'Give it to me!' that means you _shouldn't_ enter the room. At the very least, you should knock first!"

"Oh, shut up."

Clark saw red gather at Lois' cheeks and, as he lowered his hand from her mouth, he said, "Well, at least we know how to keep Oliver out of a room."

Lois slapped his arm. "I think you should shut up, too. Now, get out. Just because you saw me strip, doesn't mean you get to see me dress."

The farm boy-turned-reporter nodded. Standing up, he picked her up easily and set her on the floor with his usual gentleness. As he did so, Lois tried wrapping her head around how attractive he was whenever he blatantly performed displays of strength. Lois had seen a lot of men push weights during her time at army bases and she had been manhandled by handsome men, such as her ex-boyfriends, before, but _no one_ had ever made her want to jump them on the spot _so badly_.

In fact, jumping Clark's bones actually didn't sound like a bad idea. Chloe and Oliver were downstairs, talking, most likely. If they were laughing and exchanging quips while they talked, then they definitely wouldn't be able to hear Clark's cries for help if she did decide to rape him. Her seemingly infallible logic spurring her onward, Lois made her decision.

She had been about to push him back onto the bed when he noticed his fallen jersey on the floor. Clark bent over and picked it up, throwing it onto his bed. "Just don't wear my jersey," he told her, approaching the exit. "Only _I_ get to see you wear it." His smile widened into a mischievous grin. Then, Clark walked out of the room, closing the door to offer his fellow reporter privacy, and down the stairs to join the two Justice League members in the kitchen, not at all worried that he had flashed Lois a look at the cards he usually kept close to his chest.

And, while Clark continued living his life in ease, Lois was left alone in Clark's bedroom, wishing she'd been faster and had pushed him onto the bed while she had had the chance.


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter 6**

When Clark had entered the kitchen, he had been expecting Chloe and Oliver to be conversing over a cool glass of lemonade, or maybe a can of pop, if some still remained in the refrigerator. However, everything about today seemed to tell Clark one thing: expect the unexpected. Because Chloe and Oliver were doing the exact opposite of talking. They were quite silent, save for the few moans and groans that happened to escape them every once and a while.

If only it were possible to un-see things.

Chloe was seated on the kitchen island, her lips locked with Oliver's. Her legs were wrapped around his waist to keep him close and her hands were busying themselves underneath Oliver's shirt (in the hazy fog of shock and understandable self-pity that had covered his mind, Clark wondered why the Sullivan-Lane girls had a fascination with sliding their hands underneath guys' shirts). Oliver, in the meantime, had one hand gripping Chloe's hip, while the other was in her hair and tilting her head back so he had easy access to her lips. All the while, they were making sounds of pleasure – sounds that made Clark wish for bleach with which to clean his no longer pure ears.

Speaking of bleach, he was going to need a litre or two to scrub his counter, where he prepared _all_ his meals.

The feel of fingers trailing across the small of his back made him jump. Startled, he looked down to see Lois looking up at him with amusement, dressed in her clothes once more – Clark missed the sight of his jersey hanging loosely from her shoulders. 'Never took you for a voyeur,' she mouthed, pleased to see red creep onto his cheeks.

Then, she faced the busy blondes who were too wrapped up in each other – quite literally – to notice that the two reporters were watching them (in the least creepy way possible). Lois coughed sharply into her fisted hand and, instead of commanding Ollie to retrieve his tongue from her baby cousin's throat as she had originally intended, Lois broke out into song. She surprised even herself when the lyrics tumbled from her lips.

"Chloe and Ollie, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, second comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage!" The kissing couple, finally realising they had company, disengaged. Chloe slid off the countertop, fixing her hair, and Oliver straightened his shirt. Both of them cleared their throats in embarrassment. Clark looked on with amusement.

However, Lois was far from finished. She continued singing the song usually sung by young and immature children on the playground. "That's not all, that's not all, the baby's watchin' while they have a ball." She grinned suggestively at the word 'ball', putting her own little spin on the song; she was known to deviate from the norm, after all, and she couldn't start disappointing now.

Chloe, quickly being fed up with the song, warned Lois to stop, or else. Ever the bull-headed one, Lois ignored the warning, only to see what Chloe's "or else" option was.

Chloe picked up a fruit from the nearby fruit bowl, which happened to be a banana. Clark bowed his head to hide his laughter at Chloe's choice, but the small blonde ignored him. She peeled the fruit and broke off a piece, approaching Lois with the intent of shoving the tropical fruit into her older cousin's mouth to shut her up. The brunette was quick to realise her baby cousin's motive and did what any sane-minded child on the playground would do: Lois bolted with Chloe hot on her heels.

"What, you don't like that song, Chloe?" Lois taunted as they ran a circuit around the house. "Because I love you, I'll stop." Chloe slowed, satisfied that Lois wouldn't continue singing the song that was both infuriating and embarrassing.

"Let's see if you like this version better." Chloe hadn't counted on Lois singing another version of the song, one that happened to be much more vulgar.

"Chloe and Ollie, sittin' in a tree, doing what they shouldn't be!"

Chloe picked up her pace, knowing very well what Lois was about to say next. "Lois, don't you dare!"

Oh, but Lois dared. She ran outside the house through the back door, almost screaming the last lines of the song.

"Starts with an 'S', ends with an 'X'; oh, my god, it must be _sex_!"

The cousins were far from the farmhouse, but even Oliver had caught Lois' last word. Clark couldn't hold it in much longer. Like water breaking out of a dam, laughter tumbled out and Clark had to lean against the wall to stay upright. The laughter was contagious, and Oliver began laughing himself, looking out the kitchen window to see if Chloe had killed Lois yet. Clark managed to stumble over to the window as well, laughing out aftershock chuckles. God, his stomach hurt!

The boys could see Lois slowing down; she was laughing as hard as they had. Chloe quickly took the opportunity presented to her and ran faster, tackling the reporter to the ground. They both landed with a grunt. Chloe wasted no time, however, and flipped Lois onto her back and stuffed the banana piece into her mouth, effectively shutting her up while making sure the brunette didn't choke on the food.

Once Lois chewed and swallowed, she smiled up at the pink-faced blonde. "If embarrassing you gets me fed, I should definitely do it more. I won't even need a job!" Chloe laughed at that, picking herself up from the ground. She dusted herself off briefly, then held out a hand to help Lois up. The taller woman accepted the help and used it to stand up. They were wiping debris from their clothes as they entered the farmhouse's kitchen.

Clark frowned as they left a dirty trail in the kitchen. Lois saw this and patted his arm as she took a seat at the counter – far from where Oliver and Chloe had decided to throw their make-out session, of course. "Don't worry, Smallville. You can clean that all up later."

Clark's lips twisted up into a fake smile. "Thanks for the reassurance, Lois. The clean freak in me has been properly laid to rest."

"As it should be," Lois said with a smile. "Now, sit," she told him, patting the empty stool beside her. Clark rolled his eyes, but complied. They turned their attention to the blondes on the other side of the island.

"So, what was your first screw-up, Chlo?"

It was Chloe's turn to roll her eyes, though she was amused at her cousin's choice of words. "When I told you about—"

Clark, realising that Chloe was going to mention the Justice League in front of Lois for the second time that day, frantically interrupted. "Chloe, are you hungry?" he asked.

"What?" Chloe responded a little dumbly. After Clark sent her a warning glance, realisation dawned on her. She grabbed the out like a lifeline. "Oh! Yeah! Yeah, I am hungry." Chloe turned sharply and went to the refrigerator, quickly thinking of what to say to Lois that wouldn't let the cat out of the bag.

Lois slapped his arm as her cousin rifled through the foodstuffs in the fridge. "Clark, don't interrupt."

"Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black?" Oliver chuckled, but he was immediately silenced by a patented Lane glare. He held up his hands in surrender and Lois removed the heat from her gaze, turning her hazel eyes to Chloe, who was fixing herself a sandwich.

"So?" Lois asked as Chloe put the final slice of bread atop her creation, which she didn't actually want.

"When I told Oliver how attractive he looked in green," she mumbled quietly, raising the sandwich to her mouth and taking a bite. Now, _that_ – that wasn't an entire lie. She had blurted out the compliment after she and Oliver had rolled out of the Kent Farm's driveway in his car.

Oliver grinned at the memory. "Yep. I almost drove off the road in surprise, but my ego was definitely stroked."

"That wasn't the only time Chloe stroked something of yours, though. Right, Ollie?" Lois said, an amused grin growing on her face as Oliver's faded. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. There was a blush staining Chloe's cheeks, and she took another bite of her sandwich, suddenly ravenous.

Lois laughed at them, but she sobered immediately after Clark spoke. The Kryptonian put his elbow on the counter and turned to her with a smile. Lois did not like that smile, no matter how much it accented his wonderfully handsome features. "Lois, why don't you tell them about _your_ first impulse?"

Oliver's grin bounced back and it wasn't long until Chloe was sporting a big smile herself. It wasn't everyday one was able to see Lois squirming uncomfortably in her seat.

"Yes, Lois," Oliver said, placing his own elbows on the island and steepling his fingers. "Tell us your tale."

"Shut it, Queen," Lois growled, disliking his smug smile as well. She scowled, but she reluctantly acquiesced. "I decided I didn't like what I was wearing," she answered. She would have continued, but Chloe swiftly interrupted.

"What, so you took off all your clothes?" Chloe said, amused. "In front of Clark, no less."

"No!" Lois shouted, eyes wide.

"Oh, so you undressed, _then_ took Clark by surprise?" retorted the Sullivan, thoroughly enjoying seeing her cousin's cheeks redden. It was definitely a breath of fresh, amusing air.

"No!" Lois repeated, trying to expel the heat she felt in her face. The heat remained, much to her annoyance. "I changed into Clark's jersey! The undressing thing was my.. fourth impulse." Lois glared at Clark, who just gave her a bright, too-innocent smile. Oh, she would get him back for this.

"What was number two and three?" Oliver questioned, curious.

Yes, she would get him good for this.

"I opened and closed his door a couple times," Lois said, not mentioning the reason why she had been doing something so inane. Telling them she was hesitating in going and apologising to Clark would raise questions about why she was going to apologise to him, which would eventually lead to her second major impulse. And really, Lois didn't want to talk about that.

Chloe made a disappointed sound. She had been expecting something more entertaining than Lois simply opening and closing a door. "Well, what was your third one, then?"

"That _was_ her third one," Clark piped up, earning another glare from Lois. If looks could kill, he would be six feet underneath the soil by now, with Martha either crying over him or scolding him for purposely irritating Lois like that.

The present Justice League members were confused. "What?" Chloe asked, her head tilted to one side.

"She didn't tell you her second one." Clark supplied the answer once more.

Lois ground her teeth together. "I was getting there," she lied.

Clark smiled. "Get there faster."

The brunette idly wondered when Clark had become twice as obnoxious as usual. "The second time was when I.. invaded.. Clark's personal space." When she put it that way, it didn't sound so bad. But, of course, Clark and his currently obnoxious self had to go and make things worse.

"'Invading' is putting it lightly. She basically sexually assaulted me in my own house – right after she pushed me out of my own room and into a wall!" Although he sounded affronted, Clark looked the opposite.

"Whatever, Smallville. The sounds you were making told me you like things rough." The look of amusement was wiped off his face, causing Lois to smirk. Chloe and Oliver exploded into laughter.

"I never even knew boy scouts liked roughhousing!" Oliver exclaimed between laughs and gasps for breath.

"Well, now you do," Lois stated plainly, watching Clark's face become progressively red. Lois swore that man could wear red better than anyone else in the world.

After Oliver and Chloe had downgraded into chuckles, then into quiet smiles, Clark cleared his throat. He was very ready to get away from the jokes and back to business – especially since he was the butt of the current jokes. "What do you think caused this?"

"While you two were busy getting into crazy shenanigans," Chloe started, "Ollie and I were being productive."

"Oh, is that what they call swapping spit nowadays?" Lois snarked. "Kids these days. Getting more and more creative."

Chloe ignored her. "By retracing mine and Lois' steps, we pinpointed the place where our problems began: the Smallville County Fair."


End file.
